Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Like Charley Davidson? Are you anything like her? Try these tests!!

So unless you have lived under a rock, or arent a paranormal fan, Darynda Jones's fifth in the series of Charley Davidson book has just been released and been well recieved!

I have visited some pages celebrating this and found some amazing tests that can tell if you are in anyway like Charlie.....

Check them out!

First one is to See if you share Charley's Caffeine Addiction (courtesy of Ramblings From This Chick Blog)

Okay, okay, it’s me. Charley Davidson. Yes, I’m addicted to caffeine, but who isn’t? I mean, who hasn't had that moment of sheer terror when you run out of coffee and scrape the bottom of the can with your fingernails trying to get every last grain? Who hasn’t run through the streets in her pajamas at six in the morning screaming for a mocha latte? Who hasn’t begged a homeless man for a quarter so you can get your next fix? 

Still, caffeine addiction can be serious. Especially when you stop. Have you ever suffered the agony of caffeine withdrawal? Forget about it. But here at Davidson Investigations and Medical Research, we take caffeine addiction seriously and believe that prevention is the best medicine. 
Wait. No, that’s laughter. Laughter is the best medicine. Either way, read on to find out if you have an addiction.

The following series of Yes/No questions will allow you to determine your Addiction Factor (TM). Keep track of the number of Yes and No answers you get and chart your progress at the end. 

1. Do you use coffee to escape from your problems?

2. Do you eat spoonfuls of instant coffee because it's easier?

3. Have you ever woken up in a puddle of your own coffee?

4. Do you find that it's easier to drink more coffee than to go to sleep?

5. a) Have you ever drunk cold coffee?
b) Right out of the pot?

6. Do you spend more than 20% of your income on coffee and/or coffee-related products?

7. Does your coffee cup resemble a beer stein?

8. Has anyone ever told you that you "have a problem"?

9. Do you need coffee:
a) ...to get up in the morning?
b) ...to get out of bed?
c) ...to be injected intravenously to stimulate blood-flow?
d)…to keep from being visited by sexy otherworldly men?

10. Do you own a "Coffee Helmet"? (For the culturally ignorant, a coffee 
helmet is a hat with coffee cups attached to it and a straw coming
out of each cup leading to the mouth, used for hands-free
consumption.)

11. Do Native Americans call you "Ona mac towanda" (Smells-like-coffee)?

12. Does your doctor measure your heartbeat on the Richter scale as
well as by its frequency?

13. Have you ever sold personal or other people's possessions just to
get your fix for the day?

14. Does the phrase "swiss water decaffeinated" strike terror into
your heart?

15. a) Do you have a coffee maker in more than one room of your house?
b) ...in more than five?
c) ...in your bathroom?

16. a) Do the people at Second Cup refuse do give you free coffee
cards anymore?
b) ...because you're wearing out their hole-punch?
c) ...and it's bad for the environment?

17. Do you grind your own coffee?

18. Do you grow your own coffee?

19. Have you ever been fired from a job because you're "drinking their
profits"?

20. a) Do you know Juan Valdez?
b) ...and his donkey?
c) ...intimately?

21. Do you salivate uncontrollably whenever you hear dripping water?

22. a) Is sleep a hobby of yours?
b) ...that you don't like?
c) ...because it's too frustrating?


Response Ratio| Addiction Factor(TM)
==================================================================
Yes | No | Analysis:
==================================================================
20-22 | 0-2 | 
Analysis: You are a well-rounded member of society with a love for life and you are very wise. You are bright and sparkley. 
-------+------+----------------------------------------------------
17-19 | 3-5 | 
Analysis: You are a slightly jagged member of society, life's okay but it could be better and you are relatively naive. Your inner diva longs to emerge. 
-------+------+-------------------------------------------------------
0-16 | 6-22 | 
Analysis: What are you, some kinda nature-freak tree-hugger!? Coffee's not good enough for you, huh? What does that mean that those that do are deranged? Here, have some more TOFU! How about some ALFALFA TEA?!?

Onto test two!! Do you share Charley's ADD personality!!
(courtesy of No more Grumpy Book Seller Blog)

So, yeah, I suffer from ADD, aka attention deficit disorder. Most people know that about me. It figures that I’d suffer from a condition in which caffeine is a remedy. Still, I don’t think my ADD bothers me nearly as much as it does others. I have a short attention span. So do lots of people. Shiny objects are statistically distracting for 78% of the population, not just sufferers of ADD. And every person on the planet, at some point in his or her life, has left the remote control in the refrigerator. 

But what about you? Do you suffer from ADD? Not sure? Want to find out? We can help! Because missing just one trip to Starbucks can prove fatal. 


Take this simple quiz to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction. And if you do, rejoice! No one can ever complain about your multiple trips to the coffee pot at work again. It’s a win-win! 


Answer the following Yes/No questions. 


1. Do you often misplace your set of car keys

2. Do you often misplace your spare set of car keys? 
3. Do you often misplace your children? 
4. Do you have trouble following a conversation because the fluorescents overheard are flickering? 
5. Do you lose items when you haven’t moved from your seat? 
6. Do you read more than one book at a time and never finish any of them? 
7. Do you –SQUIRREL! 
8. Do you forget what you were talking about before you sneezed? 
9. Have you ever put the cereal in the refrigerator and the milk in the cabinet? 
10. Do you stare at your wrists for several seconds before realizing you forgot your watch? 
11. Do you ever miss you turn while driving? Seven times in a row? 
12. Have you ever spent an hour looking for your glasses only to find them on top of your head? 
13. Do you ever make piles to sort your piles? 
14. Have you had seven different jobs in seven different fields in under two months? 
15. Do you have 3,000+ bookmarks in your browser? 
16. Did your class vote you “Least Likely to Survive?” 
17. Do you ever get billed for missed appointments? 
18. Have you been going to college for 9 years and have yet to get an associates? 
19. Have you ever shown up for school on a Saturday? 
20. Have you ever dialed a number then, as it was ringing, forgot who you were calling? 

For every ‘yes’ answer, give yourself one point then see the results below and follow up with your doctor if necessary. 


SCORE: 

ANALYSIS: 

1-5 

Some of these things are natural on occasion. You should be fine. But just to be safe, you might want to up your caffeine intake by one cup a day or switch to dark roast. 

6-10 

You should probably see your physician and explain what you are going through. And just to make ME feel better about YOU, drink more coffee. 

11-15 

See your doctor ASAP. And to avoid a trip to the funny farm, you definitely want to increase your caffeine consumption by about a gallon a day. Don’t worry about those jitters. Lost of people shake. And can thread the needle of a sewing machine while it’s running. 

16-20 

REJOICE! I see much coffee in your future, ‘cause you are out there, baby. Best get thee arse to a doctor who can diagnose ADD/ADHD and invest in a commercial coffee maker. And/or a coffee plantation. Better yet, learn to grind coffee beans in your mouth. And don’t be afraid to lick the coffee pot clean in public. All the cool kids are doing it. 


I hope this helps with your diagnosis. I aim to please. And annoy. Mostly annoy. 


All that being said, trusting an online quiz to diagnose such a serious condition is just silly and you should probably see a doctor either way. Preferably a licensed psychiatrist. 


Cheers!



(please remember these are just fun tests!! Not a test to diagnose anything in any capacity - its not to be used seriously! Thank you!!)

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the fun post. I don't share her coffee addiction, mine is Dr Pepper. And I scored in the middle on the ADD. I finish all my books and no one better interrupt me while I am reading, especially Charley's.

    ReplyDelete

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