Thursday, 18 July 2013

Dear Claire.....a letter to my 15 year old self

OK, Claire.
I know you think you know it all now, but please just listen to what I say – I don’t want you to make the mistakes I did…it will seriously shape your life.

So if I remember right, you’ve just discovered clubs, pubs and boys…well men.  I think it’s something you need to do, but when the whole pub scene erupted in the town of where you went to school, I wish you hadn’t been the way you were.  I know you think it’s giving you confidence getting all this attention from guys, but its false confidence.  Did you ever wonder why a 24 year old went out with you?  I know you never gave it to him and you believe it was your first love but he wasn’t.  He was the first mistake.  The people you thought were friends and you could rely on, I’m sorry hun, again, they’re not what they seem.
One thing I WILL say – keep in constant touch with the twins from your first school – they are true and real friends and will help you so much in later life, I promise.

For god’s sake girl, don’t drop the 2 a-levels you did and put some work into it.  You would get better than the grade you get when you leave. Its only 2 years and you’ll have them for life, ok?

I know all the time when you were young your main aim was to be a teacher.  Sorry hun, it doesn’t happen, but trust me, it’s not a bad thing! You find another life love – animals.  You have a great deal of love, care, warmth and help to give to animals, and you are lucky to be owned by some fantastic pets, and meet some brilliant people through your love

The biggest mistake you make – do not listen to the woman you work for.  Yes I know you’ve known her since you were born and think you can trust her, but she really does not have your interests at heart and is poison and will make the next 12 years very lonely and a big regret.
But on the very plus side, its fate that puts the pieces back together and you and mum are closer and happier than you ever have been. That green eyed monster that rules your head now about mum goes and pride is replaced.  Pride, love and friendship.  It’s the best thing that happens, believe me on this!

You give everything to your real first love and I’m really sorry to say babes, he’s not what he appears to be.  And it will hurt at the time, but you will come to the right thinking that he really wasn’t the right one for you and you’re so much better without him!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE – do not jump into anything without thinking….trust me when I say you are better on your own than you will be with the next man that comes along.  Follow your instincts and listen to the friend who will be with you at the same time.  On that first dismal date, when he forces you to kiss him, and you find him really not for you as soon as you see him at the train station, listen to your instinct.  It’s the one thing that you need to learn to do, listen to your inner voice, I know you think others know best, but you have to believe me when I say you need to listen to yourself and trust in yourself.

So, im sad to say that we haven’t met our Prince yet…but the weird thing?  You’re happy.  You have a house full of love with your pets, you do have a lot of health problems, and there are some times you have bad times, but you’re getting through it. 

So, here I am an ancient 34 year old telling you what to do.  I know you think I’m talking out my arse, but having been where you are, I know you know I’m right really!  You go through a very painful, very bad and almost life destroying time in your twenties but (and believe me when I say I’m so proud of you for doing this) you BEAT it. You BEAT what damage this person involved does to you and you finally find yourself.  Yes I know it’s later than what we planned but you find YOU.  You know how lost you are. You don’t know the real you – you shape yourself to whoever you’re with, always making sure the other person is happy – but you forget your own happiness, but you start to find it again, and you’ll feel so much better!

You get knocked down, but you always manage to get back up.  You’re stronger than you think Claire – you just need to see it and believe it.

Okay, ill stop with the lecture, but just keep in mind one thing and hopefully you can bypass a lot of the mistakes I make for both of us..
Trust yourself and your instinct. PLEASE

It’s a hard life, I’m not gonna sugar coat it, but you can do it.  You can survive and you have some shining moments that make it all that little bit better.

Try and keep what I’ve said in mind – it really will help I promise!!

Lots of love
34 years and 2 months old

Wow, That was harder than it first appeared to be, and showed me things about myself i didn't even know....
ID give it a go if i were you, its kind of...eye opening!

I got this idea from Charlotte over at Write Like Noone's Watching blog where there are several others at the bottom of her post.  Its quite an interesting post to read!
Thank you for the idea Charlotte!


  1. Oh Claire you are amazing! So inspirational. I hope you believe in yourself now too. Shall I email the link across to you? xx

    1. yes please hun! ive written my email on the reply to your post!
      Its a great idea hun, and im glad you started it and i loved reading yours too...dont you just wish you could actually do this!!
      Thanks for the posts!

  2. Oh gosh Claire, that sounds like it was hard to write, I will think about writing one myself.

  3. Wow! What a great letter! Very inspirational x

  4. love this :) Xx

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